Understanding the concept of privilege in grief.

Many of my podcast ideas come from my own experiences during the week. This week I spent a significant amount of time thinking about privilege. Privilege is when one group has an advantage over another group. Privilege is not having to worry about health issues because you have always been healthy. Privilege is never having experienced going hungry, being homeless, or not being cared for. Privilege is having your children still alive and walking the face of the earth. How would our cultural conversations surrounding grief change if we talked about the privilege of having your children be present for Thanksgiving and Christmas? Would parents complain less about cooking for Thanksgiving for their adult children or buying them Christmas presents? Would non-grieving people understand us, grievers, better if we discussed our losses in terms of privilege? When my son died I lost my health, my family, and my sense of identity all in one moment of time. People who have not lost these things are privileged. On the flip side of privilege is gratefulness. I am more grateful for what I do have because I lost so much. I would do it all over again even if I lost him again.

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Biography: I was living the average life. I was married with two children working in a profession that I loved. On June 19. 2011 that life was destroyed and I became another person. My oldest son died unexpectedly. My son did not die from cancer. Chemotherapy killed him. It is a common experience, but I didn’t know that then. I thought that chemotherapy was going to save him. Almost immediately I felt betrayed by my profession because I was a counselor. I should have known how to handle his death. The loneliness started almost immediately. I felt so alone. I stopped sleeping and the people around me began to disappear. I knew I need community. 10 years later I am finally in a place where I am trying to build the community that I so desperately needed when Christopher first died. We can’t change that our children died, but we can help each other through it. Join me in creating a community for grieving mothers to share our stories with each other creating a sacred space for authentic grieving.

It is my mission for the podcast to provide grieving mothers everywhere a safe, sacred space where their grief is accepted. It is through the podcast that the culture of silence that surrounds the grief of the mother will be dismantled, and a culture of support will be created. It is our vision to create a community where we can share our questions, and concerns, and support each other.

I am here and I am listening. I am honored to hear your story.

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